Wellness

Have you ever noticed that when you are sick, you always think about how appreciative you are going to be when you are well again, and then, like everyone else, when you get well again, you start taking your wellness for granted? You know, of course, that you are just like everyone else in this case. Don’t we just get busy doing what we are doing, taking care of appointments, going to meetings, seeing friends, and the occasional festive outing, and just figure that nothing is going to stop us from this routine. And then, no matter what else you have going, something unexpected happens, and you get the flu, or a cold, or a pulled muscle, or a broken something-or-other. And you are down for the count. That’s where I am right now. I have the miserable flu, even though I took the precaution of taking a flu shot in good time before the season, and have tried to eat my fruits and veggies. It’s like looking at yourself from afar. You’re cranky and you know it, but you feel awful, so WTF. You know you should not only drink liquids, but replenish the minerals that are being drained out, but you feel too miserable to pay attention or make sure of anything, so you pass good sense right by. You know that you need sleep, but darned if you can get it, so you even forget about the value of catnaps. This brings me to the subject of wellness. I have vowed to be more appreciative of the healthy happy busy days that I usually have, and work to optimize them by doing all the things I know I should. Since by now I am on the mend, I am thinking about whether I should go to meetings or shake hands or be out in public. Kissing is out, hand washing is in. Sleeping, that inexact activity is sometimes hard to come by at the right time. Yesterday’s catnap took its toll on overnight sleep. So do I catnap today or not? I know that part of the reason I got sick was that I was sleep deprived. Do I eat raw veggies since I am not so active these days, or do I stick with soft foods that go down easier? The point is that taking care of ourselves is a very inexact science at best, but the most important thing we have to do since everything else depends on it. I am an inveterate clipper of columns on health, advice, wellness, etc. One that I am trying to follow lately is on “Trying to achieve calm”. Because I think that wellness really needs attention and the only way to truly give it that is to do so in a clam state of mind. So one of the things I am trying to follow is to give myself three minutes every hour of every day, no matter what else is going on. This is from a column of Iyanla Vanzant, take one minute three times an hour to take a deep breath to a count of four, and then let it out, again to the count of four. She says it’s a way to achieve calm, and I am working on it. You try it too and see what happens. I hope it will add calm to my day and my life, and what life can’t use a little extra calm. I am trying to schedule the calm, not wait until I have time to get to it, because by that time, I am so frazzled, that it would take heaps more than a breath to achieve calm. I think it will add to my attempts toward wellness. Remember that wellness is not just the absence of sickness, it is the good feeling that contributes to creativity, happiness, and a positive outlook on life. So go for it and and breathe your way to wellness.

The Price of Love

I have found that often, when I come across something and put it aside, it sometimes turns up just when I need it. Is this a coincidence or does the unconscious know that it is there and go for it at just the right time? Last night I came across this quote by an unknown author, that I had copied down on a 3 x 5 card, and I have no idea how long or since when it has been sitting on my desk. It is as follows: “Grief never ends…But it is a passage, not a place to stay. Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.” And in thinking about this, there is no price too great to pay for genuine love. All the poets and the song writers who have tried to capture the essence of love have come close, but alas, no cigar. Love is not something one can describe, it is something that one can only feel. If you are a parent, do you remember the way you felt while you were waiting for your child to be born? You thought you knew what love was then, right? And then came the moment when you first laid eyes on this child of your heart, and you may have realized that you never really knew the meaning of the word love. It’s like a switch that is thrown, and only after that do you know what you have been missing. Being human, we all must experience loss, and in the process, grief as well. But the advice that grief is a passage, and not a place to stay is sage indeed. We never stop missing those we have loved, whether it is a grandparent, a partner, or a pet. It doesn’t go away, it only changes. And it is right that it should change. Are we not lucky, that even with the grief and the pain of loss, there comes a time when there is again enough room in our hearts for new love to blossom? It is never the same, it is different in one way or another, and we may call the new love by a similar name-- partner, friend—but as surely as we are human, with dozens of people inside of us, we will find new and sparkling ways to love the new people and pets in our lives when we are ready. So today, on the first day of this New Year, that I begin with so much hope, I will count my many blessings, and I will take the time to feel true gratitude for those I have loved and lost, and for all of the delicious and wonderful ways they added something to this world of ours. I would not be the person that I have become without them, and though there is still much I want to do and learn and be, those I have loved have given me the start, and I live with appreciation every day that I have had them in my life, and whatever pain I have experienced at their passing, is nothing in comparison to the gifts of the love I have experienced and well worth the price.