Change is inevitable

I used to think that I could be in the heads of my loved ones, and tried to help them avoid the pitfalls of life, or at lease find a way to soften the landing when they fell, but now I know that this is not possible. I have tried in my life to anticipate the needs of those I love, and to provide whatever was needed if I was able. But I have come to realize and understand now that everyone has to take their own blows, everyone has to suffer their own crises, and all we can do is stand by and let them know that we will be there with them all the way through, not to suffer in their place, but to lend an ear, a hand, a shoulder, or any other appropriate body part. If we can help them believe that we will not judge, that we will not withdraw in horror, that we will never be ashamed if we know that they have put forth the best effort of which they are capable, then we will have done our best. And since we ourselves are capable of making mistakes, just like everyone else, sometimes, we will let them down despite our best efforts. I have again been de-cluttering today, and have read and discarded many articles that I had saved for a day when I had the time to look at them. A lot of what I came across was about trust, and confidence, and learning to live on in the face of life-changing circumstances. I also had lunch with a wise friend who told me that as she reaches a milestone age, she is realizing that there are things that she is no longer willing to put up with, and told me some instances having to do with her work life and her social life. I hope that she knew that I was applauding her the whole time. Life changing circumstances are happening to us all the time: we reach a new age, our work goes well or not, we become ill, we make a decision to make a change, we loose a love one. We have to adjust to loss, to illness, to changing financial circumstances, and to happy times as well that change our life situations: an adult child finding the love of his life, a wedding, a job change or a move to a new home--all are causes to rejoice, and yet they are stressful and mean a drastic change in the way we see life. Learning that change is inevitable, and learning to flow with it can make all the difference.