Do What You're Doing

Have you ever arrived at a destination, and didn’t remember getting there?  Have you ever been so distracted, that a simple task that you could practically do in your sleep went awry? How much time are you spending on automatic pilot during the course of a day? I have come to wonder how many accidents could be avoided, if people would take the care to actually do what they are doing. I also wonder how much more we would all enjoy life, if we paid more attention to the moment.  How often to do you catch yourself doing more than two or three things at a time?  We have learned to distract ourselves when we are working out, so that we can walk farther on the treadmill, or do more reps of some colossally boring task.  The epidemic of the necessity to multitask has taken away from us the enjoyment of completing the task, doing it well, and taking pride and joy in a job well done.  Rushing through what we are doing in order to be able to do more, has robbed us of the luxury of concentration. Getting through our unending lists steals from us the gratification of enjoying the moment when a job well done can be appreciated.  Rushing on to the next task often leaves us unsatisfied because we have to wonder if we gave the last one our full attention. 

I walk in the early morning with my dog.  I take my phone along for emergencies, but never call anyone because it is so early. And because I am up before the sun, and not on the phone, and not planning my next task, I notice the weather, I notice the sounds of birds, I notice that the sun is rising later now than it did at the start of summer. I also greet other early risers, and we remark on the day, or greet other dogs. While I am walking, I abandon myself to Lucy (my dog) and the morning.  I notice whether the trees are just getting their leaves or dropping them.  It enhances my life in so many ways. I realize that every day is a gift, fresh and clean, ready to be what you make it. I try to enjoy whatever it is I am engaged in, to enjoy the people I am with, and to do what I am doing.   It creates more calm in my life. Try it. You might find you like it.

It's not that I don't multitask, but I am trying to do it less.  Last night I burnt a pot of simple syrup, because I was also washing knickknacks and putting them away. Sometimes I clean out drawers when I am on the phone on a long conversation. But when I do, I often wonder if I have gotten the most out of either activity and how much more interesting or enjoyable or complete the task would be if I gave my whole self to it.  What do you think?

Messages from your Body

     Many of our language expressions are reflections, or an understanding, that the body does send us messages, and it is when we fail to understand them, or pay attention to them, they “trip us up”, just as they did me last week. That “pain in the neck” can be a physical expression of the worry at work, that “other hand” that we look at, might be just the way to an open mindedness we need to consider, “getting off on the right foot” with a new project, or a new acquaintance is a good way to begin, “heartburn” might express an emotional need to do things differently, or even just think about things differently. “Shouldering” someone else’s burden might help them, but be sure you don’t take the whole load, lest you create “back-breaking” worry.

In other words, there is great wisdom in the body, but you have to tune your ears to listen and you eyes to see.  The messages from your body can be very subtle, unless you ignore it.  Then it is forced to have all the subtlety of a sprained ankle, caused by a totally unnecessary and clutzy spill, and all the grace of a dancing elephant.

Today, my foot is in a “boot”, and I have been instructed to stay off my feet for two weeks to heal the nasty sprain that I got last week. Reflecting over the last several days, I have realized that when my emotional “plate” is far too full, I tend not to pay very close attention to myself or my own well-being.  I am distracted by illness in the family right now, preoccupied with the random strong emotions of my loved ones, money worries, and miscellany that plagues us all from time to time.  I have realized that often, during these disturbing times, when all of my attention is elsewhere, I have a tendency to stomach ache, or more disturbing, to trip over my feet and fall. I have suddenly realized (finally), that this is a message from my body, saying “heads up, pay attention, look to yourself a bit”.

Our Western culture does not encourage us to listen to what our bodies are trying to say. Older civilizations than ours have recognized the great wisdom to found in listening to the body, and the healing of positive thinking, appreciative living, meditation, and visualization.  So listen with an open ear, a receptive heart, and a keen eye to what your body is telling you.  You will not be the worse for it.

Appreciating What Is

Aren't there days when you wish that things could be different?  Whether it's the weather, or your weight, or the way your kitchen looks right now, you just wish you could snap your fingers, or wiggle your nose, and everything would be just as you would like to have it.  But I wonder sometimes, if things were just as we want them to be, would we then be satisfied? 
Our culture, and the nature of the human condition, has taught us to identify problems.  It comes together with that fight or flight thing that's built in. If we were hunter gatherers on the savannahs of Africa, we would be keeping our eyes peeled for the predator who might be thinking of us as a meal.  If we are the walking alone at night, we are watching and listening for sights and sounds that might alert us to danger. If we are at home alone, and we hear a sound that is unfamiliar, we are alert for trouble.  It is a survival mechanism that we really don't have to learn, it is built-in.
What isn't built in is learning to notice and appreciate when things are going well.  We have a job we like, we are pretty healthy, we are comfortable where we live, the temperature is just right.  How often do you really appreciate how well things are going until one of them changes and you are less satisfied?
I, and others, have learned, and in my case, am learning every day, to notice what is going right.  I have begun to teach Learning Circles, and one of the earliest assignments is to notice and appreciate what is going right in your life.  If you want to try this, you will notice that each time you take the time to notice what is good and satisfying, you will notice more.  So take a piece of paper, or a notebook, and assign yourself 5 (measley) minutes at some specific time during the day to appreciate. It might just be something like "I really like my hair", and then spend 30 seconds or so really appreciating your hair, or "I am really grateful for the love of my dog" (I can attest that this will bring a smile to your face), or "I really love the view from my window".  As you begin to notice the things you appreciate, you will find yourself actively appreciating many things that you have been taking for granted, and in so doing will be bringing more joy into your life. 
Try it.  I think that you will find it improves your life in unexpected ways.  Just three a day.  5 minutes. No matter how busy you are, you can begin or end your day with 5 minutes of appreciation.  It will ground you in the good.

Elastic families

I am reminded that it is a very good thing to make a contract with oneself, because this is one of the ways that things get done.  I was so tired tonight, because today we moved furniture, I did laundry, went shopping, put away groceries, cleaned up the kitchen, moved some more furniture, and was thinking I was ready to drop, but then I remembered that I had a contract with myself to write my blog twice a week, so here I am to fulfill my contract. 
Everyday, I try to think of three things that I appreciate, and to really feel that appreciation for 30 seconds.  So today, I can appreciate how elastic are our homes and families. Our daughter has come home for awhile after breaking up with her husband.  It has challenged the way we use our rooms, and everyone has tried to adjust. Families have always been elastic, when they need to be--taking in a relative who needs shelter, welcoming new inlaws, drawing together when there is a loss, helping each other during hard times. Our homes manage to support those changes in size and form, and we open our doors, tighten our grip, and make it all happen.  Today we managed to give Bob a place that he can work at his computer unhampered, and while it is not the ideal situation, it will work as long as we need it to. That was what all the moving of furniture was about.
 In the same way, I grew up in a house that was maybe 1200 square feet, had three bedrooms and one bathroom that served nine of us.  There were 5 adults and 4 children, and while it was certainly harder on the adults that it was on me, the youngest of us, we managed.  Other post WWII families did the same, and somehow we grew up, got educated, lived, breathed, enjoyed, and lived productively.
So here is to the elasticity of families and of houses, whose walls embrace and protect us, whose warmth comforts, and whose willingness to adjust to our needs at any given moment are as good as it gets.