Giving Thanks or Thanksgiving?

Whether you are grateful to a Higher Power, or to Lady Luck or even just to yourself for all of your own hard work, being grateful means being in the moment and realizing that you have achieved something worth having. And what, after all, is this giving of thanks?  It is a time to stop and reflect, to appreciate, to recognize; in other words to be cognizant of the moment in time in which you find yourself.

Thanksgiving was designated an official holiday comparatively recently, but if you are a student of religion or history, you know that every culture in every age has had a day when it was appropriate to “give thanks”.  It isn’t always, (or even usually) associated with turkey and/or getting stuffed.  But it is always associated with realizing our many gifts, and being grateful.

The end of 2011 is drawing near, and it seems as if it just began.  I guess that’s how you can tell how old you are. Remember when you were a kid, and time seemed to drag on until your birthday came around, or until it was   an important holiday or a vacation from school?  As we get older and busier with all the things we are called on to do, time seems to slip away, and yet, each day is still 24 hours, and each week is still seven days. Why does time sometimes pass at breakneck speed, and sometimes seem to drag until you just want to scream? Why does it sometimes seem as if we are holding our breath for long periods of time in anticipation of something, and sometimes as if we have to wait another second to exhale in relief, that we will die.  Perhaps it is the desired or undesired occasion at the end of the tunnel of time that makes it seem to rush at us or hold back, that changes our perception of the passage of time, and yet, we have the same three meals each day, or the same routine that we follow.

Many of the religions of which I am aware set aside time for reflection and thought, attention to our better selves, and study every week, and while many people spend all or part of that day in a house of worship or study, any or all of those things could as well be done in a park or on a walk or at the beach, or listening to your favorite piece of inspiring music.

 To take the time to fully appreciate our place in the universe, to reflect on the gift of life, and to think of how we might improve ourselves and our world in some way is not something that should be limited to a once-a-year occasion. It takes some discipline to hop off the every day merry-go-round of chores, obligations, work and routines to say “today I will take the time to reflect, and to appreciate, and today I will make an effort to spend more time smiling than complaining, and today I will cherish the warmth I feel toward my family and friends; today I will value each moment given me to enjoy.”

So whatever your religious bent happens to be, or if you do not subscribe to any religion at all, I wish you the happiness and good cheer that this season heaps upon us, and I urge you to accept the gift of gratitude.  It will enhance your life in every way.

Unsung Heroes--THANKS

How often, do we, as attendees at a party, as patrons of a restaurant, as passive recipients of the efforts of other people think about those efforts? My last entry in this blog was about how I felt about the deserving honorees at a gala I attended. What I neglected to mention was how the entire evening went off without a hitch.  The timetable was adhered to, the music was wonderful, the food was delicious and beautiful, the service was superb, the program was interesting, and the people who made sure that all of this happened were probably exhausted. Nevertheless, they were smiling and happy, gracious and I am sure more than a little relieved. In this case, a gala celebration with 374 attendees was planned and executed with the utmost precision by volunteers. Of course there were professional musicians and caterers, but the evening would never have happened, the honorees would never have been feted, had it not been for the dedication of volunteers like the ones who coordinated this occasion.

If we think about it and just look around, how much of what goes on around us all the time,that makes our lives better, is done by volunteers. Not only are efforts that might not otherwise be possible at all accomplished by volunteers, willing to take the time to give of themselves, but as important is the actual work is the understanding that someone who doesn’t have to, who is not being required to, is willing to help out in some way that makes life in our communities better. Neither food banks nor literacy programs could exist without volunteers. A stay in the hospital would be less pleasant without the volunteers manning the desk and the information booth. The first graders could do without the cupcakes, but a sweet association makes school more attractive. The churches and synagogues would have to kiss their periodic fund-raisers goodbye, not to mention the holiday luncheons, the altar enhancements, and the countless other wonderful things that create a community were it not for the dedicated ladies and gentlemen who lovingly give their time as ushers, manning the gift shop, reading to the children, assisting the seniors.

So here’s to the people without whom so much that is fun and worthwhile, so much that is needful and indispensible, remarkable and heartwarming would not happen.   I dedicate this blog entry to the unsung heroes, the volunteers, the boards of directors, the picnic planners, the people who don’t have to, but do it anyway. I salute you.

Last night two things happened that put me into a thoughtful, pensive mood that made me reflect on my own life and who I have been, and who I wish to be. The first was that we once again moved our clocks out of Daylight time and into Standard time.  This by itself made me aware of the passage of time and that no one has a guarantee of the length of time we will be here on this earth, and how we must make the most of every day we are given, perfecting our intentions, and living up to our own expectations of ourselves. The second was that I had the privilege of attending a gala awards banquet, held in honor of two men who have spent much of their lives giving of themselves without thought of being honored, without expectation of awards, but simply stated, because it was the right thing to do.

 The teaching and the examples in the homes in which each of the honorees grew up, far from the ease and advantages that we enjoy in the United States of liberty and democracy, taught them something that many of us have come to call “giving back”. But for these men, they were not giving anything back, they were taking the lead in the face of difficult circumstances to, care for the people of their communities, to advance the cause of humanity and culture, and to do the right thing. Both men are refugees from countries where they were no longer welcome after their families had lived there for generations. Both found ways to help their communities in their native lands in the face of oppression and real threat.  One was still a child, and the other a man with a family to support, and yet, both chose the same path—one of service and generosity to his fellow man. I was filled with admiration and gladness that the communities here in Los Angeles found a way to recognize their ongoing contributions to humanity. I was filled with hope for the future that these men, who hold themselves to a lofty standard of service, are the patriarchs of large families who are obviously filled with love for them, stand as examples to the generations that will follow, so that the seed of the idea that service is a worthy standard, will fall on fertile soil, and that there will be a field to harvest in the future as well.

The particulars of the deeds that the two honorees of last night’s gala have done are of special interest in these days when greed is being protested on the steps of state capitols, and indeed at the steps of the federal government. They are of interest not even because of the amount of work and generosity that has been involved over long periods of time.  They are of special interest because the acts and their results are the outcomes of a way of thinking and dealing with the world. 

One of the gentlemen is a doctor who, we were told, did not turn away a person in need who did not have the ability to pay for his care. His kindness and devotion to people shine out from his face in his smile. The other gentleman, having the advantage of being educated in the United States, did not have the added burden of learning the language of his adopted country, retaking examinations in a new language, and the attendant repetition of internships and the like, but he had another burden. He could have gone the way of most college grads who worked so hard to get ahead, and start a business with no thought of service until many years of success are behind them. But, here was a young man who, when he began his business with a partner, laid out that service to the community was to be a part and parcel of that business. I know, because I have served in a small way with this man, how much of his time and energy go into the service he takes so seriously. He is unstinting with his time and his knowledge, and I just know that he must have one of those “time turners” that Hermoine Granger used to such great advantage in the Harry Potter series, because a man with just 24 hours to spend each day could not get as much done as this man of many talents.

The two honorees have something else beside service and generosity in common that is not at all surprising. These are men to whom prayer is neither foreign nor haphazard. It is the stuff of every day life, and it does not matter to whom one prays, but that prayer and reflection and attention to the words of those who are wiser and who came before us are worth our consideration as a guide to how we should conduct our lives.

My admiration runneth over. I am honored to be personally acquainted with these honorees, and it was my pleasure to help celebrate them. Their intentions for themselves are high, indeed, and it makes me wonder if I have set my own bar too low.

So, now that I have shared with you something about what I am thinking this early morning, I am also thinking that we all have an extra hour to spend today.  How are you going to spend yours?   

Are you afraid of the dark?

It’s 2:46 on Friday morning.  Not the time I would ordinarily choose to add to my blog, but my darling dog Lucy is having a bad night, and won’t let me sleep, so I figured that I would share some of my thoughts at this weird hour with you.

Lucy has, over the past several months developed what, in a child, we might call nightmares, or night terrors, and is too frightened to be alone, so she wakes me up to be with her. The result is that I am a zombie the next day after spending the night soothing her fears. Which brings me to the point of this blog:  What are you afraid of? What is it that keeps you wakeful in the night? For Lucy, an old dog, it is the sounds she hears, like the owl outside that sometimes roosts in the tree next door and hoots that mournful sound, or the new puppy next door that sometimes cries at night (even I heard him tonight), or the neighborhood coyotes howling at some passing sound, or the things she may think she is seeing because her eyesight might be changing with age.  Lucy is agitated enough by these fears that she can’t sleep, and keeps me up as well. But what is it or how is it that you finally settle down and get back to sleep when your fears are up and about in the night?

Being truthful with ourselves, we realize that there are so many things that keep us awake. Is it the fear that we are not up to the challenges that we face? Is it that we are just not good enough, period? Or is it some other variation of these worries that go bump in the night? So I look at this question and ask myself new questions about it. They might be questions that you could ask as well.

Is there some way that you can face this with less fear? Is there some way that you can look at this sense of inadequacy and not feel so bad about yourself? After all, you have managed to muddle through life this far, you have managed to get through school, to hold down jobs, to raise children, and maintain a home and marriage, so you might just be doing some things right, right?  What if you consider the facts of all of this? And what if you let those facts persuade you that you are indeed adequate to the challenges of daily life, because after all, you have evidence of that? What if you were to allow those thoughts of adequacy in, to support the idea that what you fear is true is perhaps not so true, and what if you let the truth of that into your consciousness?  Could you rest easier in the knowledge that you have been adequate to meet the challenges of life in the past, so in all likelihood, you might be able to meet the challenges of life in the future, even if it means learning how to tweet, or taking on some new technology that makes you feel dumb and shakes you to your core?

So look at yourself with new eyes.  You have lots of things to recommend you.  You made it through that last dinner party you didn’t want to go to, that last networking meeting you would have loved to skip.  You behaved admirably toward your in-laws, and the school principal.  You have what it takes to navigate the world.  Give yourself a pat on the back and stand tall.  You deserve to be admired.  Remember that and smile.  Studies show it will make you feel better, even if nothing changes but the look on your face.

Roadblocks--gotta love 'em

Over the weekend, that old movie The Wiz was on TV.  That catchy tune "Ease on down the Road" got stuck in my head and I got to thinking that easing on down the road is something we take kind of for granted, when we really should be appreciating all the times we can ease on on down, rather than having to take a detour. When I began this blog, I figured that I would just check in twice a week, and that would be that.  Then I had a bout of bursitis in my right shoulder, disallowing me from working on my keyboard.  There was my roadblock. But that got me to thinking about how unappreciative we all are of the things that we take for granted, like our good health, our abilities to do simple things like step up onto a curb, or in my case, easily put on a jacket, or feed myself with my right hand or brush my teeth. I am even learning to work my mouse with my left hand, even though my shoulder is on the mend, and I am able to do all those things again.  What that little bump in the road has given me is a new found appreciation for the things I do with ease, the things I can do without giving them a second thought. It has also given me a some new perspectives on the changes that we are coming to realize are not just a blip on the radar screen of our economic lives.
For the younger people I know who are just beginning, their lives certainly will look different from the lives of my generation, who went to college and could usually expect to find a job in our chosen field that we would do for a long time. But what an opportunity for them--to not be stuck doing the same thing their whole lives, to look forward to trying something new that might just be better suited, or make them happier. The economic times have made us recalibrate our expectations for the future. And it has made me realize again that the admonition that the end of something is the beginning of something else is true and putting your own good spin on it is how you are going to embrace that something new.
So no matter what your roadblock happens to be, whether it is pain, an injury, a unexpected change of circumstance, a job loss, even the loss of a a friend of a loved one, can have positive echoes in your live if you  only let it. It just might open up space in your life for new thinking, a new beginning, new love, new hope. As I was awakening this morning, the phrase came to me "all beginnings start after the end of something else."  So notice the endings and embrace them, even when they are had to accept and leave you feeling empty. The space that is there to be filled may mean new adventures, and at the very least new thinking.

Getting Started

It's always so exciting to get started doing something new, isn't it?  I have had a blog before, and you can find it at froggyblogging.blogspot.com, but it was really meant for the duration of a health and exercise program that I had won.  It was great fun and I shared lots of things I learned about taking care of myself on it.
This blog is going to cover lots of subjects, and what's on my mind as a coach, a professional, as a human being, a woman, and as a citizen of the world. What I am going to try to do is to leave you with a question or a thought that you might be interested in exploring that might open up a door for you to a new way of thinking, or maybe throw out an idea that might open up a new channel for you that you haven't really thought about before.  I am always reading and exploring, and I love to share my thoughts and perhaps light a fire for you that might just be the spark that lights your way to a whole new way of thinking. 
It is going to be an adventure, and I hope that you will come along for the ride.