Appreciating what is

I have discovered that it is much easier to ‘Appreciate What Is’ when things are going well, than it is to do so when things are not so good. I am sure that you are thinking something like what my mother would have said if she were alive—“Columbus!”—meaning this is not such a big discovery.  Of course it is easier to pick out a couple of good things in all the bounty of good times, and to appreciate the hell out of them. But it is precisely when things are not so good that we have to pick over all the things in our lives, even the bad and find a kernel of gold to appreciate.

Situations being what they are, I have been thinking a lot about the past. Our history is what makes us what we have become-- whether because of, or in spite of-- the many blocks of experience that pile up on each other to create the way we think, the way we see, our expectations, our hopes and dreams, and even the way we interpret experience. So looking back and reexamining our history is a worthwhile experience. 

Do you remember being a kid, or the transformation into a teen and then young adult? Were you a happy-go-lucky kid who turned into an angry teen? Did sibling rivalry create havoc in your household? Did you rail against authority, were you the prom queen? And now, looking back at that time, do you see where you have come since then, and how? Those transformations, growing up, changing, honing your self and your skills and your thoughts into the person you wanted to become is really the work of life, and appreciating the bad right along with the good that made you the person you are today is what Appreciative Living is all about.

Right now, this past year has been probably the most challenging of my life. Finding that golden kernel to be grateful for has taken patience and forbearance, but looking back to all the good years, all the happy times, all of the good people who have graced my life with their love and friendship, has buoyed my spirits. I come from a loving family, strong in their sense of right and wrong, charitable, close, and quick to celebrate any good thing. My brother and I have had occasion recently to discuss our upbringing, and we agree on our great good fortune to have grown up in such a family, with strong leadership, and a solid moral foundation. When I find myself wondering how my parents would have approached some problem, or what they would have told me, I realize again that the golden kernel of my life has been my family and the love we have shared.

Those who we have been lucky enough to have loved are always with us. The others we can let go of. When love has been a part of our life, we can take it with us wherever we go. And the magic of life, is then to share again the love that someone has shared with us.