Appreciative Inquiry, Alzheimers, and the Art of Possibility

I was asked by a friend to substitute for her today as the facilitatior of an Alzheimer's support group.  I am filled with admiration for how these people come together twice a month to support each other, and to share information, and to give each other a space where they can cry freely, bitch when they need to, and have a friendly group who understands, as no one else can, what exactly they are going though, even though in the Alzheimer's community there is a saying: if you know five people, (or ten or a hundred)people with Alzheimers, you know five (or ten or a hundred) different diseases, because no two people with Alzheimers are the same, or have the same reaction to meds, or decline in the same way. When the meeting was in progress, I was reminded of a wonderful book I read often, "The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund and Benjamin Zander.  Their premise is that "the more attention you shine on a particular subject, the more evidence of it will grow.  Attention is like light and air and water." As an Appreciative Inquiry coach, it is my basic way of dealing with how a company or business should proceed in team building, or a change in the organization.  "If we focus on obstacles and problems, they multiply lavishly." I like to focus on what is already working and what has been successful, as a guide.  So today, for the last 15 minutes of our meeting, I asked these courageous caregivers to try to think of one good or lovely thing that has come to them in spite of the heartbreak of a loved one slipping away by degrees. One woman said that in her search to care for her mother, they discovered that at the age of 90, she was a fine artist, something they had not previously known. Another remembered that all her married life, her husband of 63 years had daily told her "I love you still", and even though he had lost so much of his memory, he still tells her that, and the sweetness of it. Others said that they were learning to make a life for themselves, and almost all found a way to be grateful for something.  We left the meeting light of heart with the good things in mind, accepting the way things are, but finding something for which to be grateful.  I hope that each day, you too, can find something in the way things are for which to be grateful.
And I hope that you will pick up a copy of the Zanders' book, and read it often.  It is for me a twice a year read, and no matter how many times I read it, I always find an "aha", and I am always happy to be reminded of all the possibilities that exist if only we look for them.